"WARNING TO THE PEOPLE OF SANTA FE"

Really, I'm not going out of my way to find this stuff. There were a bunch of these lying in a big stack on top of a newspaper rack near Ohori's. I hope you find it as amusing as I did:

I would cry if this wasn't so darn funny in a Monty Pythonish sort of way. . .

Warring Monks Threaten Destruction of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre

Excerpt:

The dispute over the Deir al-Sultan monastery [a small monastery on top of the Holy Sepulchre Church] is a more recent phenomenon dating back to Easter 1970. When the Coptic monks, who had controlled the area, went to pray in the main church and left the rooftop unattended, Ethiopian monks seized the opportunity to change the locks at the entrances before the Copts returned.

Relations between the two groups have remained tense ever since [ya think?], with the Coptic Church refusing to relinquish its claim to the monastery and posting a single monk there at all times. In the midst of a blistering heatwave in the summer of 2002, the Coptic monk on duty moved his chair from its agreed spot to a shadier corner. The move was taken as a hostile manoeuvre by the Ethiopians and 11 monks needed hospital treatment after the ensuing fracas.

Again, do you really need to make movies that make fun of religion? We do a much better job in-house, sad to say.

Wow.



Watch at least 'til the "ZAP". And check out the backup singers. The guitarist is Mr. P's favorite.

Bill Maher, you got nothin' on this!

Hat tip to Orthodixie.

UPDATE


As promised, pictures of local businesses I encountered on my last trip to Texas:

Science!

I think I just might have the scoop on this one. Odious, Steve, this is for you (although Mr. P will no doubt be highly amused/appalled when he gets back from the bottom of the Grand Canyon).

Apparently, a scientific research materials company called Eppendorf has developed a line of automated pipetting systems called epMotion. And what better way to sell automated pipetting systems than making a music video with. . . a boy band?!?!

Oh yes. You have to take a look. Don't ask any questions. Just do it.

But if you insist, here's a sample of some of the lyrics:

Pipetting all those well-plates, baby,
sends your thumbs into overdrive
And spending long nights in the lab makes
it hard for your love to thrive.

CHORUS:

And it’s called epMotion
(whisper: ‘cause you deserve something really great)
Girl you need epMotion
(whisper: yeah girl it’s time to automate)
It’s got to be epMotion
(whisper: no more pipetting late at night)
Only for you epMotion
(whisper: girl this time we got it right)

DNA
RNA
Proteins
Cell Cultures
Less reagents
Faster workflow
Saves you money
Well, well, well


Well, well, well indeed.

I am waaaaay too amused by this.

Support Your Local Businesses!

On a recent trip to the Great Republic, I mean. . . uh. . State, that is, of Texas I was very sorry not to have a camera handy when I saw the following business establishments:

The Yahweh Beauty Salon
That one was in my lovely hometown of Killeen, right across from my old high school.

Chupacabras Ice Cream Parlor
In Dallas, one of the quaint, "ethnic" neighborhoods.

That's all I know, folks. Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to patronize either of these fine, local, family-run (presumably) establishments. I don't know what kind of ice cream flavors they had at Chupacabras (I'm open to suggestions) and Yahweh Beauty Salon (or maybe it was Beauty School, or Academy), well, I just have no idea. There's material there for a short story, but it might not be believable.

Stuff People Like

Just in case you were wondering:

Stuff White People Like Limited in its scope to yuppies, but then, I suppose most yuppies are white, so, okay, whatever. But keep in mind the Stuff White People in the Midwest Like would be completely different. It would include Jello, Collections, Lawns, Family Reunions, Lakes, Family Reunions at Lakes and Target, among other things.

Stuff Black People Love This is a really funny site. Examples of stuff black people love: Multisyllabic names that end with a vowel and Seeing White People with shorts on when its cold outside (it's like Groundhog Day!).

Stuff Catholics Like Oh so true, so true!! Examples: Retreats, Babies (duh!), Knees, Relics, Miracles, okay but Clapping in Church? I lost you on that one. I was Catholic for 18 years or so and I never clapped in church, unless the occasion warranted it. So it's become a Catholic Thing to clap after the service is over. Really? Funny post though.

I couldn't find Stuff Orthodox People Like but it really writes itself, doesn't it. It's too easy. Standing, beards, icons, incense, monks, calendars, anything Russian or Greek, arguing about esoteric things that no one really understands but that doesn't stop us, etc., etc., etc. Suggestions?

But then I found that, as is the case with most things you start looking into on the internet, this is only the tip of the iceberg. So if you're interested in, say Stuff Iranians Like (it's really, really not anything you might be thinking), it's out there!!

Huh?!?

What's just about the last thing you think about when you think opera? What is so far removed from opera that it's inconceivable to think about them in the same sentence? Umm. . . crazy communist dictators? No, they already did that one. Ummm. . . the Royal Navy? No, got tickets to that one already. How 'bout. . .Al Gore? No, it has nothing to do with 2000 or Florida, which would be perhaps vaguely entertaining. Just imagine the possibilities. A plaintive aria and chorus of retired Manhattannites who have just discovered they have tragically voted for Pat Buchannan. A stirring end-of-act chorus of protesters, vote-counters, commentators, with Bush and Gore soaring over it all (I suppose Bush would have to be the tenor). The Supreme Court could have a complex, dramatic nontet (maybe a ballet thrown in?) with two opposing themes that somehow fit discordantly together. Definitely potential. Anyone interested?

But no. It's ummm. . . . global warming? Yeah. Italian composer Giorgio Battistelli has been working on an opera based on. . . um. . . An Inconvenient Truth. . . yeah. . . for La Scala in 2011. I tried to find some information on this guy, but it's pretty thin. I've found adjectives like "post-modern", and "experimental", and the opera in question will be done in a "multi-media" format. None of which inspires confidence. His choice of subjects is quite interesting though. His works include an opera about a drunk who's in charge of maintaining Lennin's preserved body, Richard III (in English with a Flemish opera company) and something about Hector and Achilles, although I haven't been able to find much about that at all.

The only way in which I see this working is probably not the way he's going to do it, given the experimental, atonal, multi-media thing. It could maybe be neat if they went totally Pagan, with a rockin' contralto Gaia singing like Fricka. . . maybe. But somehow I don't think that's the tack there're going to take.